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    And that has a political valence too. I wanted women who embrace that identity. Because as much as I understand the desire to get away from labels and signifiers, I also believe there can be power in a label—in people coming together as a group.

    And a cultural one. Bird exults in her lesbian identity. She loves bringing women into its fold, and she even takes pleasure in the stereotypes that have attached to the lesbian lifestyle, some of which, she affirms, have a basis in truth.

    All those dumb signifiers. Here we all are. And you know what? All rights reserved. Your California Privacy Rights. Ad Choices.

    Model Lesbians. June 25, Culture. Roberta Colindrez left , an actress and a playwright, and Heather Kemesky right , a model, both photographed in New York.

    Erika Linder, a model and an actress, first made headlines six years ago, when she was one of the first mainstream female models booking jobs for male campaigns.

    She's since gone on to star in them for the likes of Tom Ford and Louis Vuitton. New York Times later year. Ruth Bell, right, exploded from relative anonymity to runway ubiquity in I Love Dick.

    Vogue as an infant, and has been modeling in some form ever since. After losing her right leg to Toxic Shock Syndrome in , she's become an activist, dedicating herself to raising awareness for disease prevention.

    Lauren Wasser appeared in the pages of Italian Vogue as an infant, and has been modeling in some form ever since. But I do hope that at some point there will be a little more acceptance of queer identity, however that gets defined.

    He did also mention that his guy friends were always trying to hug him, or hold his hand, or give him a shoulder massage, or sit with him naked in hot tubs.

    And that his wife always felt looked down on and excluded because she was a women. Korea has this really intense drinking culture.

    My dad hates it. Sorry I just felt like being a Korean commenter. But the big tradition among the men is to go to the local dive and get roasted or boiled pork, oysters, cabbage, the whole rich foods shabang, and drink shit tons of soju.

    Ultimately, one generally decides which matters more, and full acceptance usually wins. This is an interesting point… I enjoyed reading this, but I felt your approach was a bit touristy.

    What I mean by that is I feel you described Korean queer culture as something quite romantic, which for you it probably was. Civil Rights and acceptance are a necessity.

    I just wanted point that out because it feels important. It was an interesting read though, an outsiders perspective.

    Like, I still got the impression of a romanticised orient at times. I am possibly being a pedant though! In my experience, that view is shared by a significant number Korean lesbians, actually—i.

    They prefer a hidden subculture. But she lived there for two years and it sounds like she was able to have decent conversations with Koreans about these things.

    Fascinating article, as others have said. If so this could explain why lesbian couples can get away with more PDA than you might expect. But one day, someone DID say something asked how my date went , and he found out I was a lesbian and went completely postal.

    Like I had a contagious disease. He stunned our group of friends and shocked the hell out of me. Like, not going to gatherings if I was present.

    I was totally blindsided, but that was before I knew about the homophobia that exists in South Korea, even cities like Seoul where he was from. For those who have more knowledge about this than I do, do you find that South Korean women usually respond better to homosexuality, in general?

    Korea is kind of contradictory. On the one hand you have this new wave of like…androgyny, feminine dudes, etc. But then you have the way nobody actually talks about lgbtqetc shit like ever.

    This is at least according to my dad, who left when he was like 20 or so, in the 80s. My mom left when she was like 12 or The thing is that my dad was never one of those conservative folk.

    He was a goddamn metalhead and played in a goddamn heavy metal cover band and participated in this student revolution and all that crap.

    I know this because I quizzed him on his male puberty extensively since I am going through mine now. I figure I should mention now that I am a teenage trans dude.

    He was a pretty androgynous figure as a teen, basically. Anyway, I mean, I hear about this whole Asian conservativism etc and I get a little puzzled?

    Since my parents are just so liberal. I got these really weird parents who completely accepted me and everything for every time I came out.

    Well coming out as a dude was a bit trickier but MAN they were still really good about it. I was born in the US and only went to Korea a couple of times to visit family.

    I dunno, I just have really mixed feelings about my heritage and stuff. Whether I can really claim an identity as Korean when I only speak English and all that?

    I dunno. Maybe stuff is different? I probably have to go live in Korea and learn the language and shit to find out more but. Yeah well. Sorry for the word vomit, which had nothing really to do with this article, which was a lovely article by the way.

    I have been living in Seoul for five years. I have been in a serious relationship with a Korean woman for 4 of those years, and I have discussed this topic with many different kinds of Koreans to see what they think.

    When you talk about Koreans, you have to realize that their social lives are an intricate mix of internal and external pressures. Everything in Korean society is based on group mentality.

    I think my girlfriend has been accepted by her friends, because they have their own strong group, and they will be loyal to each other no matter what.

    I once met a woman who was going to be fired from her 12 year teacher position because she had failed to get married yet.

    So, as I have read the comments above, I can see how this applies to the exchange student who freaked out when he discovered he was unknowingly friends with a lesbian.

    He thought you were all one way, but it turns out, one is different. I can also see how this applies to the high school girls who beat eachother up if they like a guy.

    But their rules are even stricter, because they are even more exclusive than the mainstream. Maybe that is why the Korean lesbian community can seem a bit romantic to an outsider.

    In Korea, the group tends to inform the individual, not the other way around. I feel like that is a big difference between U.

    I would say that we in the U. This is a really great article! In America I can stay with a friend or something, there are a lot of options; but where will I go there when I need some air?

    Being lesbian is a sensitive issue. Please at least blur their faces. I was on here to write the same. As you point out, being out in Korea is very different from being out at home.

    People can lose jobs over things like this. Anyways, while I appreciate that it would have been wonderful to be also presented with a view of Korea from a Korean living within the country, unless I am much mistaken, these were all volunteer guest writers.

    I believe she made that abundantly clear. Likewise, it seems that no native Korean, adoptee, person living in Seoul, or anything else you mentioned volunteered to write a post; surely, if someone had volunteered, we could have seen multiple perspectives on queer Korea.

    That no one else asked to write an article on the topic is neither the fault of Autostraddle nor Hallie. Perhaps, if you feel that you have a different perspective that you would like to be shared, you could contact Autostraddle and volunteer to write an article yourself.

    As for saying that Hallie understands very little about the culture… Well, she is a foreigner, and she understands things from that perspective, obviously.

    She may understand things differently; not incorrectly. You cannot expect her to see and understand every little nuance the same way a Korean adoptee, national, etc.

    Why would you choose to make such qualitative statements about an entire culture? Your piece would be better without drawing these parallels to our culture in a way where one is being described as better than another.

    Thank you for pointing out, too, that the U. Thank you so much for posting! I really enjoyed reading this article. Thanks for writing this.

    I was nervous about finding queer locals and expats while stationed in S. This definitely smooths my feathers and gives me places to start.

    I posted your article on Korean lesbian site you think that pics are not recognizable, but someone said that is her friend your article has been posted on K-pop site.

    Having read this great piece of writing above, i now realise that even my experience of being there with my friends sitting quietly in the corner was potentially being intrusive for some people there.

    I speak of this only by way of echoing the implicit suggestion above that aside from merely being objects of desire unable to be named verbally, we are also capable of helping stretch the local conception of what is normal, hopefully helping make room for those of us locals who cannot leave so quickly and easily so as to build another home elsewhere.

    But there you go; life is a constant dance around the mulberry bush of what can be achieved in negotiation with those around. The whole straight people-especially the majority straight white men - in queer spaces is a complicated one, even in the Western World.

    On the other hand, we are a highly marginalized sect of society, and we get bombarded with the straight perspective day in and day out, along with forms of discrimination that even the friendliest of gay friendly straights cannot fathom, and sometimes you just want to be around other people who DO get it.

    So, rock and a hard place, I guess. Sure, its possible. There are plenty of lesbros. The attitude is born of the fact that many straight men are horribly disrespectful to us.

    Yeah, gotta agree there. I noticed that that happens a lot. Even on this very site, sometimes there are a few too many straight dudes lesbros for comfort, who seem to be here to goggle at us like we are animals in a petting zoo or something.

    I have straight male friends. But I would have no interest in being friends with you. Whether or not somebody is a lesbian matters a lot when you want to date them.

    It matters very little when choosing your friends. Actually, the more I think about it, the weirder I find this question, Straight Guy.

    Why, exactly, are you seeking out gay chics? Thanks to everyone for your comments, and to Autostraddle for removing the photos.

    As for the comments about privilege, I absolutely do not want this article to be taken as the gospel truth about Korea, Korean queer culture, or really anything at all.

    This was my own personal experience as an expat not a tourist and should be interpreted as such. Loved this. Having spent a lot of time in Asia over the last few years, also as a Westerner, this sounds very familiar to me.

    Truly impeccable timing. Visiting a male friend in Seoul and venturing solo white girl to the lezzie bars in a few hours.

    I feel slightly more prepared, but this will definitely be an experience. Thank god for alcohol. Total I have lived overseas about 2 years only.

    Anyway, I have read all the posts here and especially I feel really sorry that the Koreans who are terrified about their outing in Korea.

    However, I notice that they have been only out to one or two Korean people who have lived overseas for a long time and feel terrified if they get some how harmed if they come out to other Koreans.

    I have different experiences. Throughout period being in a closet and overcoming that with a huge strength, I decided to come out to people if I naturally have chances, such as most common question in Korea if some one asks if I have a boyfriend, then I started answering I have a girlfiend.

    Most common response was that I look so normal and weird. They said they all expected lesbians and gays would be weird and not being able to adjust to society, therefore they probably have chosen a life of being gay.

    After I heard this commonly, I actually decided to come out more if I had chances and tried to give the message to the Korean society indirectly that Korean gay and lesbian are just like anyone else.

    I have come out to so many Koreans even people only I meet one time and for the first time. I have come out to my family.

    They all love me and care about me. My family has never lived overseas by the way. I think as long as you have courage to come out and be strong about who you are, then they would respect who you are.

    This article inspired me to write my extended essay for IB comparing Korean and American social and cultural attitudes towards homosexuality. But in all seriousness the comments on this article, especially the ones from Koreans, are really insightful.

    I understand where my fellow Koreans are coming from. But, I digress. Thanks for the subject and topic idea.

    I was dying over here trying to think of something to write about. This article helped shed some light on this question. Pingback: South Korea - Two years as a lesbian expat.

    This article really resonates with me, but in a different way than usual since I am pre-op transgender MTF and lesbian. Before I had moved to Korea, I had been seeing a psychologist who specializes in transgender issues in the U.

    After that time period, it became more than crystal-clear that I had to transition. However, that was also the time when I had lost my job mostly because of my being obviously transgender.

    Unfortunately in most jurisdictions in the U. At any rate, when I had lost my job, a college friend in Korea had been able to get me in touch with someone who was offering a pretty good paying job teaching English in Korea.

    If anyone reading this knows of any legitimate transgender gathering place or anything like that here in Korea, please let me know. I know that being queer in a culture outside of your own and even within your own comes with all sorts of conundrums, and the experience will be different for every person, but thank you for writing this article as a point of reference : I hope you are enjoying your stay in Korea!

    Got any ideas? I have graduated uni and this is my first teaching job and experience living abroad…scary!

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